Jenny's family has given me permission to post the Service for Jenny's Funeral for her friends, especially those overseas who were unable to be there.
Jenny's
Service
Music
Good afternoon everyone and welcome to
this ceremony to celebrate the life of Jenny Sallans who was 54 when she died
in Whittle Ward last Saturday. My name
is Christine Howard and I would like to welcome you on behalf of Jenny’s
family, her parents Jim and Olive, her brother Steve and sister in law Coralie,
her brothers Peter and Bryan and sister in law Susan and all the other members
of her family. Following this ceremony
you are all invited to join the family for refreshments in the reception room.
In Jenny’s memory, please consider making a gift to the Whittle Ward. There is a donation box in the foyer.
There are
many people who have been part of Jenny’s life; friends, good mates and
university colleagues and members of the legal fraternity. Their love and
friendship has always been important and Jenny’s family would like to record
their appreciation for the support and interest shown to Jenny and to them.
Today
will be a time for us to share some of our memories of Jenny, some readings
that acknowledge our sadness at this time of loss and change and some words
that will help us look to the future with hope. In a spirit of love and
friendship, I offer these words for us to consider.
Let us
live well today, for today is what we have been given. Let us aim to live all
our days with courage and thankfulness so that we may leave this world with
hope. For as long as there is life, there is hope. And where there is living
hope, tended and protected by a loving community, despair cannot triumph.
And so today, as we celebrate Jenny’s life we consider
what she has left us. She leaves us with many positive memories, of course, and
she also leaves us with the memory of a life well lived. If we are to honour
her memory, we would all do well to remember that while she is not here to make
the world a better place, we can act on her behalf. We can choose to see what
we need to change within ourselves so that we can be the best we can be. We can
choose to be better stewards for the world and take greater care of each other.
The uniqueness of each human life is the basis of our grief in
bereavement. Look through the whole world and there is no one just like
Jenny. But she still lives on in your
memories and will always remain a member of your circle through the influence
she has had in your life.
We are here also to grow through an
ending into a beginning, to let go of Jenny and, with memories gathered for the
journey, gain strength for moving through the days ahead without her. Right now
most of us have a heightened sense of what is precious and what is true. There
is potential for connecting, truth telling and reconciling. This time together
today is a time apart when all of us gather not only to remember Jenny but also
to remember the bonds between and among us.
Unknown source
The comfort of having a friend may be
taken away but not that of having had one. Let us make the most of our friends
while we have them, for how long we shall keep them is uncertain. We who have
lost a friend have the joy that we once had in him to match the grief that he
is taken away. Shall we bury the friendship with the friend?
We are
here today to remember this optimistic, accepting and intelligent woman who
faced what life offered, both good and bad, with realism. Jenny believed in
living her life and letting others live theirs; she was clear in her opinions,
didn’t play games and liked people to be straight-forward, black and white even, as she was. To many people she was inspirational, always
practical with an active social conscience.
Jenny didn’t sit with hands folded and wait for other to act. She was
pro-active and her sense of justice influenced her behaviour and dictated her
career and life decisions.
Jenny had
a wicked sense of humour and was an avid collector…a family characteristic. She
collected anything and everything….miniature shoes, boxes, anything with eye
appeal. Scrapbooking was another passion, as was cooking, her beloved dog Annie
and cigarettes. Jenny was a Tasmanian by choice, preferred the bush or beach to
city life and was a good neighbour. She would have been a wonderful lawyer. Her
family and friends were always important and central to her life: Christmas and
birthdays were celebrated with family whenever possible.
Life was
not always easy for Jenny and she faced her diminishing health with courage and
realism.
She
deserves the best farewell we can give her.
Now we will hear from friend, Paula Nelson,
?? from
UTas law faculty and brother, Steve. These words will be followed by a photo
montage with music for reflection.
Memories of Jenny
Paula Nelson
When Steve & Coralie asked me if I had
any pictures of Jenny for today, I thought I might have a few, but not
many. When searching through my
computer, I realised that over 30 years had passed since I met Jen, and my mind
began wandering to times even earlier than these pictures I had 'on file'.
The pictures of mine here today, are only
from 2005. They were taken at Cradle
Mountain, East Coast, Mountain River, Fern Tree, Eagle Hawk Neck, just to name
a few places I remembered we'd been to together. Her 50th birthday party – Barbie
themed and red! was typical Jenny.
I was asked if I wanted to say anything at
her funeral. I said no thinking I would
have nothing to say, BUT then it occurred to me that her family might like to
know what others thought of their daughter & sister.
Jen was actually living at Ables Bay when
we first met. I remember staying down
there on week ends, the wonderful cooking – Drysdale influenced of course,
watching them doing up camper vans, the parties and lots of laughs. She appreciated the beauty of nature, the
wildlife and life in general. Recently,
she loved to talk about the trips she did with Val on the mainland and was
always reminding me of 'somewhere I had to go see for myself'.
As years passed and life got ever busier,
we didn't see as much of each other but we still caught up at places like the
Womens Dances, the P party @ Zoes School, birthday parties, Queens Ball,
Halloween, xmas and easter breaks. Being
from the mainland and away from her family, she was aware many more of us were
too. Her Xmas for 'orphans' as she
called it, was a comfort to many. Anyone
with nowhere to go on Xmas Day was welcome at her place. During the past 13 years we supported each
other more as we both lived on our own.
We spent more time sharing thoughts on life, love and how to fix the
universe. Typical Jenny, always wanting
to aim high – I was just happy to fix the earth.
I have never in all my life, been
acquainted with anyone, with as much determination
as Jenny. Moving to Clarendon Vale, she
saw first hand what it was like for the 'less fortunate' in our society. She mediated with tenants and with Housing. She saw a need and became a JP. She put herself 'out there' to those in need.
She was the most generous person I
have ever met. She gave her time freely to those in need with no expectations
in return. She had very strong views of
right and wrong, and wanted to do more to help people. She embarked on her epic journey through
University, the years of part time study whilst on an invalid pension, made
achieving her dream of a Law Degree all the more personally satisfying. She saw her diagnosis with cancer as pretty
much a bloody nuisance, and wasn't about to let it get in the way of being
'Admitted to the Bar'. I remember
walking into the Royal one day, in the middle of her chemo, when life was
pretty rough, and she's sitting up in bed, laptop going and study papers
everywhere. Before I could say anything
she was telling me to shut up, she just had to finish this on time to hand
in. She was determined to be 'admitted'
with the rest of her friends!
Friends and family was very important to
Jen. Kerri-Lee, Xanthea and Marcus, Kim
and Mark, Michael and Ursula were all still very dear to her. Her Mum and Dad were constantly in her
thoughts. Steve, Coralie, Peter and Bryan.
She was up to date with all their goings on! I know theres lots of people from 30 odd
years ago, still touched by Jenny.
Jenny had previously supported her sister
Diana, in her final months. She was well
aware of what to expect. She never once
said 'why me?' She never gave in to
it. She was dignity itself. She always
looked for a way to help others. Even
when they told her it had spread and they were no longer going to do chemo, she
was wanting to know if there was some trial she could participate in? By this stage I'm asking her 'why' and saying
'can't you just live the last of your life for you!' but as usual the reply was
'It might help someone else.' Selfless to the end!
Jenny Sallans was my mate, pal, buddy,
friend. She was my conscience. No, she wasn't perfect. No-one is. Yes, she could be pedantic – especially if she thought
she was right. We had some arguments
over the years but got over them because we respected each other. The worst one was a time when I said the law
was an ass! She said it was black &
white! I said there was times when
morally there should be a different outcome.
You can probably imagine how she just kept going on……and on…..and on…..
Which reminds me how I recently described
her as the Duracell Bunny. She just kept
going!
I have discovered in writing this, that I
have more memories than I thought. Some
I could share, some best kept to myself and lots that we just don't have time
for. So, this is me just giving a
snippet of how we saw Jenny. Determined.
Generous. Dignified. Selfless.
Respectful. Pedantic. And we
wouldn't have had her be any other way!
And I'm half expecting
a 'cackle' to come from that casket!
Rob White
Jenny Sallans – Farewell
Sharyn and I met Jenny Sallans about 10
years ago. It was at a conference dinner for a Human Rights event. We sat next
to this smiling, joking person and before long we were laughing our heads off.
The conversation was peppered with witticisms and one-liners. It was a hugely
enjoyable night. When we got home, we said this is a person we’d like to keep
in touch with – and thank goodness we did.
Jenny Sallans had a ‘joie de vivre’ about
her that was infectious. She was a great cook, and great company. She handled
everything in her life without fuss, and yet appreciated everything that people
did around her. She had presence. She was fun.
The Law was a large part of Jenny’s life.
For many years, and before she qualified as a lawyer, she was a Justice of the
Peace, of which she was rightly proud and enthusiastic. She took being a JP
seriously and accordingly people took her seriously and relied upon her in many
different ways. She wanted to be of service to the wider community. And this
she certainly was.
For example, when she lived in Clarendon
Vale, she would frequently help young mothers and other women in the local
community – with paperwork, advice, and yet more paperwork. She was valued by
her neighbours for her generosity and helpful nature. She became part of the
fabric of their lives.
One day she was confronted by a very big,
very tough looking bearded man. He pointed at her and said, ‘If anybody hassles
you or gives you a hard time around here, they’ve fffing got me to answer
to!’ Jenny experienced no fffing
problems the whole time she lived there! Protection – of all kinds and in
different shapes and sizes – comes to those who give, and Jenny was definitely
a giver.
Jenny not only gave to other people, she
gave it out as well. Rarely shy about offering her (usually well informed)
opinion, she once counselled our daughter Sienna about a previous boyfriend –
the quote unquote ‘dick brain’ that she used to see. After Jenny talked with
Sienna, things were never quite the same!
Never one to suffer fools gladly, Jenny was
receptive to everyone but intolerant of those who spoke falsehood or who tried
to take shortcuts. She would speak to truth – in her activism, in her law
school classes, in her private moments. There is a word for this: it is called
integrity. With Jenny you always knew where you stood, and why she stood where
she stood.
As I’ve said, the law was a large part of
Jenny’s life, especially once she had moved into Newtown. Over many years of
part-time study she pursued a Law degree. Jenny’s technical understanding of
legal studies was simply outstanding. She got it. And she had a passion for it.
The law for Jenny, however, was never about
‘authority’ or kowtowing to what the experts and the books said. The law was
about achieving particular ends, about creating and constructing the ‘good
society’. The authority of the law was something that had to be achieved,
something that had to be judged on its own merits. Law was about people, not
pomp and ceremony or going through the motions. Jenny respected people, and the
law, when it, and they, walked the walk – of justice, of equality, of respect
for human rights.
Not surprisingly, in her law school
tutorials Jenny was never afraid to challenge, and never frightened to speak
her mind. She was hugely interested in studying law and in the practices and
outcomes of law. But she was not seduced by the law, nor intimidated by its
language and its trappings. As with everything, the Law was seen as a potential
servant, and where this was not perceived to be the case, it was open to
critique and condemnation.
Jenny’s face at graduation was simply
amazing. The pride and joy was wonderful to see. She graduated with excellent
grades, and with the experience of having published in the University of
Tasmania Law Journal amongst other things.
She was an active doer and contributor within the Law School, and her
university experience was marked by lots of engagement with other students,
with lecturers and with many others who accompanied her on her long journey of
study. She just loved the whole thing about being a student, being in the Law
School, and being part of the energy and passion of ‘The Law’.
Jenny was a wonderful friend and human
being.
She loved her dog.
She loved her friends.
She loved her family.
She loved ‘The Law’.
And she served us all – with humble pride,
quiet resolve and generous heart.
We celebrate her life and bid her a fond
farewell. Good-bye our dear friend.
Rob White
University
of Tasmania
Steve Sallans
Steve's Words
Paula and Rob,
thank you for your memories and helping to bring Jenny back to us for this brief celebration of her life and heart
felt farewell. And thank you to Christine for guiding us through these
difficult and emotional times.
For my part I
would like to take this opportunity to celebrate Jenny's special character, as
I believe her character was, and is, extraordinary and inspirational. Her remarkable character was tested to the
hilt over the past twelve months, and she demonstrated, in no uncertain terms,
that it was as true and firm as I had known it to be throughout her life.
Jenny was
brave; she faced the brutal facts head on; she did not brook euphemisms; she
never complained or became unduly upset, nor did she consider herself a
victim. In fact, toward the end, and
losing the use of her legs, she was offered a risky operation to her spine.
Jenny, ever the optimist, unhesitatingly took this challenge on, determined to
walk a little further before she left us.
After initial
positive indications, her doctor informed her that unfortunately the operation
was unsuccessful leaving her with movement only in her right arm and hand. She
accepted the news quietly and calmly.
However, her doctor interpreted her calm stoicism as denial and ordered
the services of a psychologist. Jenny
was duly horrified by this development and in this case Jenny did raise some
vociferous complaints concerning her treatment, at least with some of us. However Jenny counted her small mercies and
was in fact grateful that she could at least continue to smoke her precious
cigarettes, which of course she did to the end; well, no one's perfect after
all.
In the face of
her adversity, she stood as she always had; brave, honest, pragmatic, calm,
optimistic and always considered others before herself, to the very end.
I think a good
life can be compared to climbing Mt Everest, attempting the summit is the real
game in town, and the risk of death is simply an unavoidable part of the climb,
and an honourable one at that. Death is
simply one of the costs of experiencing this wonderful challenging life.
Jenny's example
inspires me, and I hope it inspires others, to travel toward our inevitable
date with death, not with fear, but as a challenge to live well while ever we
can, and to not permit those things that we cannot control unnecessarily drag
us down.
While this may
be easier said then done, Jenny's example stands before us to show us the way
up the mountain. On the other hand, and notwithstanding her brilliant example,
I do think she possessed an innate advantage that the rest of will just have to
work that much harder to replicate. She
was by nature an intelligent, outgoing, sceptical, optimistic, personality who
challenged life from her earliest days.
The following
photo montage may at first glance appear to be simply a set of dusty family
snapshots. However, if you take special note of Jenny, you may find that even
in the youngest shots of her you will see that special character bursting with
interest and humour, challenging the authority of the camera, while others
simply smile. I believe these images
will resonate powerfully with those of us who knew her at all well.
Its not
possible to express just how much Jenny will be missed by Mum and Dad, myself
and all of our family, and no doubt her many, many friends and colleagues. I
think that I can safely say that we are all very proud of her philosophies, her
substantial achievements, and her friendship.
Finally, I am
proud to say that my sister Jenny died a good and dignified death, and I only
hope I can do as well when my time comes.
Thank You
Photo montage with music for reflection
David Harkins
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you
can smile because she has lived.
You can
close your eyes and pray she’ll come back
Or you
can open your eyes and see all she’s left.
You can
be empty because you can’t see her
Or you
can be full of the love you shared.
You can
turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you
can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can
remember her and only that she’s gone
Or you
can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can
cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you
can do what she’d want; smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
With understandable sorrow but with spirits lifted by our fond
memories and our hope, we put aside our sadness at parting and all our regrets
for things that were said and done or left unsaid or left undone. Only our love
remains. To love someone always carries the risk of parting but not to love is
not to have truly lived at all.
Let us all be strong in the conviction
that in spite of death, the scheme of life is ultimately
good. Let us aim to leave this ceremony
determined to live through the loss and the grief to
an even more abundant life. Death is
not too high a price to pay for having lived. We pause
to gather our feelings and thoughts and
we remember how Jenny touched our lives and in our
own hearts, we each say our farewell.
We are grateful that Jenny has been, and still is, part of our lives.
We will remember her with love and affection and gratitude. And now we have
each other. That is all we have but it is all we need. We are subject to
natural law and to chance but our humanity gives us the power to stand over and
against them. We have a measure of understanding and so we gain some control.
We share our thoughts and our feelings and so we support each other. By our
living and our loving we create the value of the world.
We commit the body of Jenny to the elements. We are glad she lived,
that we saw her face, knew
her friendship, and walked the way of life with her. We deeply
cherish the memory of her words
and deeds and character. We leave our dead in peace. With respect we
bid her farewell, in love we
remember her companionship, her ways. And thinking of her in this
manner, let us go in quietness of spirit and live in charity with each other.
Music
